Thursday, February 17, 2005

just call me chicken

So I've been dating this boy since before xmas - ok, not really 'dating' - we've been on two dates in 3 months. It started out great...met at a party for a volunteer group I joined and many beers later I was making out with him at the bar. Sounds great, right? Then we had our first date. He would pick me up and we'd go for dinner at one of my favourite restaurants. I was really excited and couldn't wait to see him again. I had really high expectations that this could be the one...my next serious relationship! Possibly marriage and kids (not that I want kids but who am I kidding I'll probably have 5). I was excited and looked really cute. I was ready to impress!

He called to say he was stuck at work because of the loss prevention guy needing to fire someone. Fine - no problem. "Just call me when you're done and we'll go out." So I'm waiting and waiting, thinking it shouldn't take to long to fire someone's ass. And I'm waiting thinking "it's okay...I really like this guy." Almost 3 hours later he calls...he says "give me 15 minutes to change and I'll be right over." Fine...I'm still excited to see him so no big deal.

I walk out to his car and bam!

He's not as cute as I remember. He's nothing like I remember.

But I give him a chance, we go to the restaurant - it's closed for a private party. We head to the Irish Pub next door, since we're both starving, and grab the last table. We get menus and he pulls his right up close to his face to read it...is he blind? Can he read? The waitress comes over and he takes forever to order...he seems a little slow behind the wheel. I must be imagining this...this can't be happening to me. Where was that really cute exciting boy I met last week? This must be a mistake. But there is no mistake.

Now I'm terrible at being mean to people unless I have an utter hatred for them, which has maybe happened once (ok twice) in my lifetime. I hate confrontation, I can't intentionally hurt someone. I can't say "I'm not attracted to you and can't date you." So we say we'll go out before the holidays and he'll call me to set something up.

And I don't answer my phone.

And I don't return his calls.

And I hope he gets the hint.

And a month and a half later I return his call because he doesn't get the hint. And I plan on telling him I don't want to date him...seriously I did.

We play phone tag for a week.

We finally connect but then he's so nice and we have an okay chat. I can't do it. We make plans to go out again. To my favourite restaurant...then one with the private party. It's $5 pasta night and he doesn't care. He picks me up again and he looks the same...not my type. I look really cute again, but only because I wanted to look good for anyone else who may be around...sad isn't it. I can be heartless sometimes. Dinner is nice but he does that thing with the menu again. It drives me crazy and I'm ready to rip it out of his hands and order for him. I'm good at repressing my feelings so instead I chat with the waitress while he's deciding. We end up having a nice meal and I make him pay. But I feel guilty for that, so we head to a bar down the street for a drink where I can do my part and have a few to get the courage to tell him it's not going to work. But what happens you ask?? I get drunk and we end up making out in the car infront of my apartment. I'm so stupid!! I just love being kissed and it's been so long...sigh.

And I said we'd go out again but couldn't commit to a day because I had my calendar at the office so I'd have to get back to him.

And I don't answer my phone.

And I don't return his calls.

And I hope he gets the hint.

I know I have to call him. I know I do. I was going to last night but I was a chicken...and my phone rang and I thought it was him. I didn't answer. I wasn't home. But it wasn't him. And I couldn't call him.

Just call me chicken.

Posted by Maple :: 11:05 AM :: 1 Comments:

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