Sunday, January 01, 2006

Holiday recap

I have avoided blogging since returning from my trip home to visit my family. My visit was good, but had many challenges for me to endure and try to push through to keep things going smoothly. I did manage to avoid fighting with my sister for the first time ever. When our encounters started getting tense, I managed to back away from the situation and instead of exploding into an argument, I tried to diffuse the problem instead. It worked to keep the peace but left me very frustrated and stressed from the effort. I really do want a better relationship with her but it is not an easy task, although we did manage to have a normal conversation about her current relationship which was a nice change. She's just such a demanding person that being around her for an extended period of time tends to be very draining, especially when some quiet time is what I needed. My sister definitely doesn't know how to do anything quietly!

I also worked hard to bond with my Mom, using our time working on a jigsaw puzzle to chat and learn more about each other. She too can cause much frustration when we spend too much time together, but again, I tried really hard to keep my temper and bond with her. We would spend hours together working on this puzzle and then we'll take a break and she'll start treating me like a child again. I can't quite comprehend why she thinks I can't take care of myself. She did a great job raising me and her voice can still be heard inside my head of all the things she's nagged me about over the years. This year she managed to 'teach' me how cooking with chicken can be dangerous because of salmonella poisoning. Telling me how it can make people really sick and it can easily be prevented. To this day I don't understand why she thought I didn't know that. Does she think I live in a cave or that I never listened to her tell me this many times before? At that moment I just wanted to scream and run away, but I was nice and just told her of the time I had food poisoning from a local butchers sausage stand and how miserable I was because of it, and how it taught me to be extra careful when cooking. Thankfully the story managed to change her thought pattern and took the conversation away from my being incapable of taking care of myself.

On Christmas Eve I posed just the right question to my brother and learned that he and my sister-in-law are still on the list to adopt a child, and have actually been on the short list for 2 other babies since Abby went back to her birth mother. Amazingly, my Mom and sister were not aware of this either so it makes me wonder if he feels more comfortable telling me things than anyone else. This is not the first time I've been in the loop on something in his life and no one else is and it was really the only time that I actually felt special when I was home. Although, I think I also did something special for him while I was there. When I was a little girl, my Dad made me a bed that I used through most of my childhood. It was nothing fancy, just a twin bed made of pine that I loved because he made it just for me. It wasn't a hand-me-down, or a slightly used garage sale find. It was special, one of a kind. And I've handed it down to Princess M to use since she is now too big for the bed my brother made for her. She may end up thinking of it as a hand-me-down, but I'm hoping she'll think it's special too.

There is so much more I could say about my trip home, but it just seems like so long ago now. Since I've been home, I've managed to cross a few things off my list and have been motivated like never before. It's been absolutely amazing and I've loved every minute of it. I think the stars are aligning in my favour because I am feeling more alive and focused on making improvements in my life. My big project was #17 on my list - to paint my apartment. I've been talking about doing this for years and I finally did it, I painted my living room. I wish I had thought to take before and after shots, because the difference is amazing. I'd love to do it in my whole apartment but I don't think I can handle all the trim and molding that needs to be dealt with. Just taping that stuff was a pain but then having to paint around it, that was a nuisance! Tomorrow I will be buying a new chair (#8) and hopefully a coffee table and drapes (#18) to complete the look, but even without those I am ecstatic with the results.

I also managed to accomplish #84, cooking for friends! Last night I cooked - for the first time ever - a roast, roasted potatoes, and honey-glazed carrots, accented by a bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau and salad provided by CG. Amazingly, it turned out tender and juicy! It feels so good to be able to get things accomplished and if I keep going at this pace, I may be done my list sooner rather than later (and that may end up being my goal). I still have a fair bit to accomplish, but January already has many items that will get crossed off one by one.

Posted by Maple :: 10:57 PM :: 2 Comments:

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