Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Rumor has it...

The end has come for my relationship with Fenway. Some of you already know this because you are a good friend of mine, others know this because you read his blog and figured out who I am. Anyone who follows my blog knows that I chose not to talk about our relationship as much as he did and that is because I am a private person and our relationship was, and still is special to me. Fenway is a wonderful person and I feel very lucky to have been given the opportunity to get to know him, but unfortunately, he is not the right person for me. I can't really put into words why it wouldn't work, but I do know that there was something that wouldn't let me love him. Something beyond my control. It's like our relationship was a big jigsaw puzzle, where only one piece was missing and instead of it being one of the little pieces off to the side, it was a big one right in the center that pulled the picture together. The missing piece is not something that can be ignored. It is too essential to the overall picture and without it, the picture is incomplete. All I know is that it would've been wrong to continue our relationship when I couldn't give him all of my heart. He deserves better than that. We all do.

In the past I would've ignored my instincts and just kept in the relationship until we couldn't stand each other anymore. But I'm tired of doing that. Of living a lie because I don't want to be alone. I'm not afraid to be alone anymore. And I would prefer that to being in a relationship that is missing an important piece. I'm growing up and trying to learn from my mistakes. I still care very deeply for Fenway but I can't force myself to love him. I'm not going to live a lie just because he's great in every other way.

He will find his true love, and I hope she makes him happier than he's ever been.

Posted by Maple :: 5:17 PM :: 2 Comments:

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