Friday, February 18, 2005

Lightbulb Moment

Have you ever had someone give you that lightbulb moment where ding you realize you've been screwing up your life? That happened to me the other day when a good friend of mine kicked my ass because of a email I sent where I was pretty down on myself. She pretty much bitch-slapped me back to reality (in a good way of course). This is what impacted me most...

"I didn't realize how pretty FireCracker was until I saw the pictures. When I met her in person, she didn't come across that pretty because she had a scowl on her face."

I've been told many, many times in my life to "smile" and not because I'm getting my picture taken. It was always annoying and usually I was in a good mood up until they would say that word, but then I would turn angry. What I realize now is that I was probably never really happy to begin with and I would be wearing that scowl constantly. Somehow, someway I need to learn to reverse this behaviour.

I find myself being more angry lately than usual, but at least I now recognize it when it happens. The littlest things can set me off now and that's never a good sign. I'm not the type of person to yell or confront people about things that bother me...I'm the other kind of person. The type who holds it in and lets things build internally until I reach my limit and explode on some poor unexpecting fool. It's not a pretty sight.

I realize New Year's has past, but it's time for a new resolution. I need to change this behaviour. I need to be happier and let the anger out. I've got to get rid of the scowl and just enjoy life! And to do this I will need to change the way I look at things and how I react to things. This is a big task but so important in the grand scheme of things.

I will not let myself fail!

:-D

I'm smiling already!

Posted by Maple :: 9:58 AM :: 0 Comments:

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