Saturday, February 19, 2005

Realization #1

My first realization...that I can't be alone in complete silence. Have you ever tried to do this before? To be alone someplace with no music, no TV, no people or animals or anything to distract you? I tried last night and it drove me crazy!! I could not relax. I was not able to just sit still and enjoy the peace and quiet around me. I had to have something in the background to be able to relax. Those who know me really we understand that I usually have the radio on in every room so that there is never silence. I've even been known to have both the TV and radio on in the same room - crazy I know! But I hate to feel alone. I think it goes back to my childhood, when I didn't have a lot of friends and I wasn't allowed to hang out with my sister and her friends. I felt very alone and I really didn't like that. When the music's on then there's another voice in the room. Someone is talking to you and you are a part of something (real or imagined). I think the only time I don't have music on at home is when I'm reading and that's new for me. It becomes a distraction from whatever story I'm getting into but as soon as I'm done with the book the radio is put back on. Am I a freak or what?

Posted by Maple :: 11:42 AM :: 1 Comments:

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