Wednesday, August 17, 2005

promotion! promotion?

I don't know why, but I'm feeling very blah today. It may be that I spent too much time talking with Fenway last night and didn't get much sleep, but I think there's more to it than that.

Yesterday I met with my boss about the transition from Consultant to the glamorous role of Managing Consultant. It's supposed to be a big deal and be great for my career, but after talking with him, it doesn't sound that way. I'll really be doing the same crap I do now, but now I'll have to care about the future of the company. And I don't want to care about them. He's making me stay at this stupid client and now I have to try and build the relationship into something even more profitable for him. They've already given me the raise last year, so this year I don't get one, and the only other perks are quarterly profit sharing and a corporate credit card. Yippee. The profit sharing will maybe get me another 1 or 2%...not really worth it to me. And the card, I'll never get to use it because I need permission to take out clients.

Another thing that bothered me was that now that I'm up to the highest level in my company, he's still treating me like I don't have a clue how to do business or deal with clients. For example, we need to determine the length of time remaining on my current contract, yet he's not comfortable having me look into it with Boss Lady. Which is really stupid on his part since she won't return any of his emails or phone calls. I have direct access to her at any time of day or night with emails, work, home and cell numbers yet he doesn't want me to contact her myself. Does he really think things will be different with her this time? Thankfully, I was able to make him understand that it may be faster to get an answer from her if I spoke with her directly first and then get her to follow up with him later, if necessary. Yet, I don't have the desire to talk to her and have been putting it off since yesterday. I've already spent 5 minutes talking to her about another situation but I'm not ready to discuss my future yet. Probably because I'm not sure what I want to happen in my future.

I never did hear anything from that job I applied for. Hopefully it won't get back to my boss that I applied for a position with that company. I wonder how he'd react if he found out - would he mention it to me? Probably not, but he wouldn't trust me in the future with potential openings at other locations.

So now I'm left trying to motivate myself to work for a company I no longer enjoy working for, with a client that is worse than my employer and even more work ahead of me. I have so much to do today but without something or someone to push me forward, I'm struggling to keep at it. I know that if I could look at the situation in a more positive way that it wouldn't seem so daunting, but that is something that is very hard to do. I think I'll have to try or I'll end up being completely miserable and I don't want to be that way again.

Oh, and the promotion - he won't actually say when it becomes official.

Posted by Maple :: 1:23 PM :: 1 Comments:

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